


Another Life

by Babecum



Category: BBS - Fandom, Banana Bus Squad, H2OVanoss - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Evan, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Love, M/M, Smut, gay Jonathan, homaphobia, stripclub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 13:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18316046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babecum/pseuds/Babecum
Summary: “You got to be fucking kidding me.” Evan gaped, staring and the neon blue sign with wide eyes and an expression of pure and utter horror painted all over his face.“What the fuck are we doing here?”Tyler laughed by his side, wrapping an arm around Evan’s shoulders and shaking him lightly.“Come on, don’t be so uptight! We’re going to have fun.” He grinned, flashing Evan with his pearly white teeth.The sign, blinding and intimidating, read “Boys, boys, boys!” with the silhouette of a man gliding down a pole.The sound of muffled music reached Evan’s ears and he felt a little sick in the stomach, because that wasn’t really how he had planned to spend the night of his bachelor party.





	1. Chapter 1

“You got to be fucking kidding me.” Evan gaped, staring and the neon blue sign with wide eyes and an expression of pure and utter horror painted all over his face. “What the fuck are we doing here?”

Tyler laughed by his side, wrapping an arm around Evan’s shoulders and shaking him lightly. 

“Come on, don’t be so uptight! We’re going to have fun.” He grinned, flashing Evan with his pearly white teeth.

The sign, blinding and intimidating, read “Boys, boys, boys!” with the silhouette of a man gliding down a pole.  
The sound of muffled music reached Evan’s ears and he felt a little sick in the stomach, because that wasn’t really how he had planned to spend the night of his bachelor party.

He would have planned going to Tyler’s place and having a few beers, maybe play some Gmod or GTA, watch Pluto Nash, and maybe play a round or two of uno, because that was what NORMAL men would have done to celebrate a friend getting married but no. 

He had agreed to let Tyler, David, Craig, Luke, Brain, Brock, Scotty, Lui, and Marcel organize him his party and, apparently, they thought it was going to be a great idea blindfold him, get him into a cab and lead him to a gay club.

“Guys, seriously, this isn’t funny.” Evan said, eyeing his friends, with a frown on his face.

“Yes it is!” Brock argued, giggling. “We couldn’t bring you to a girls’ strip club, otherwise Sydney would have freaked out so-“

“So we figured that a gay club was the better option.” Brain cut in, laughing and looking up at the sign.

Evan was positively going to kill his friends.  
First of all, he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t. He had a fiancé at home, the woman he had been with for the past three years. 

Evan Fong wasn’t gay, so what was even the point in going to a club meant for gay people? What was the fun going to be in watching other men getting undressed, dancing around a dirty and sticky stage and grinding against desperate clients while wearing silly and ridiculous thongs?

Evan wasn’t gay, and if his mouth started to water at those thoughts, it was probably because he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and he was really hungry.

Evan Fong wasn’t gay. He had spent all his childhood and teenage years trying to convince himself he wasn’t. Being gay meant being insulted and looking weak and being judged by everyone and Evan wasn’t gay. He had a girlfriend that he was about to marry because he wasn’t gay.

He absolutely wasn’t.

“Think about it: you’re going to have to have the classic bachelor party experience without the whining wife part.” Scotty said, wiggling his eyebrows and making Evan scoff.

“I don’t want to see other men like… like that!” He said, vaguely and nervously gesturing with his hands in the general direction of the neon sign. “I’m not gay.” He hissed, feeling the back of his neck sting a little.

“Dude, we know. Look, it’s just for fun, okay? Straight girls go to gay clubs all the time, you know?” Marcel smiled warmly. 

“Sydney has never been to a gay club.” Evan pointed out, glaring at his friends.

“No shit.” Tyler huffed, rolling his eyes and gaining an elbow in the ribs from Craig.

“Okay, firstly, what’s up with that tone of voice?” Evan asked, raising a hand in Tyler’s direction. “Secondly, Sydney is a good woman. She’s absolutely beautiful, and my parents LOVE her! Plus she makes the best hot chocolate in the whole world. You guys have tasted it! The one with the coconut flakes on top?”

“This is the lamest bachelor party ever.” Tyler groaned, throwing his head back and looking up at the sky.

“You’ve never even been to one.”  Craig said, raising his eyebrows and folding his arms on his chest.

“I’ve seen enough rom coms to know what they should be like.” Tyler sighed, leaning back against the wall. 

“This was a stupid idea.”

“No, it wasn’t!” Luke protested, taking charge of the whole situation. “Come on, Evan, just relax, okay? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Someone, literally anyone who might see us?” Evan deadpanned, looking up at David and squinting his eyes in a suspicious way.

“We’re literally three towns away.” Lui pointed out, and Evan didn’t even bother to answer him.

“If Sydney finds out-“

“We won’t tell her if you don’t tell her.” Brock promised, squeezing Evan’s shoulder.

Evan thought that she was going to find out anyway. Sydney always found out everything, she was like a bloodhound for lies. Sometimes Evan had actually considered the idea of searching through his clothes for bugs or cameras around the house.

Sydney wasn’t an easy woman, that much was for sure. She wasn’t a bad woman, per se, she was only demanding and complained a lot, but none the less she was beautiful.

They had met in college and they had started dating right away because Sydney wanted them to. Evan was 20, and he really didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying that he wasn’t interested and suddenly three years had passed, he had proposed because his father told him he should have and she had said yes.

Evan loved Sydney. At least he thought he did. He loved coming back home from work and find the dinner ready, waking up to the smell of coffee in the morning. He loved how clean their house was, because Sydney was a very clean person and she polished every single surface every day and swept the floors every morning and every night. Anytime Evan tried to help, she would just dismiss him, saying that he didn’t know the right way to do it and he was only going to be in her way.

“Fine.” Evan eventually agreed. “But if I feel uncomfortable we leave. No questions.” He warned, and his friends immediately nodded, deciding to give him that much.

“Fair enough! But you got to promise that you’re going to give it a try and not hate it out of principle.” Brian grinned, bouncing on his feet like an excited kid in a candy store.

“I never make promises I’m not sure I can keep.” Evan sighed, as 9 the of them walked through the main, black door which, in all honesty, felt much more like a black hole swallowing him down to Evan.

Inside the club the music was much louder. As soon as they were in, they found themselves in front of a sort of reception, entirely draped with red velvet. 

The girl behind the counter was blond and she was chewing a gum in a excessively alluring way. She looked up at them and a smirked pulled at the corner of her red lips before she popped her gum.

“I thought this was a men only club.” Evan whispered to Craig, making sure the girl couldn’t hear him.

“The performers are males, but they do have girls in the staff.” Craig replied, giving him an encouraging wink.

“We booked a table for nine.” Brock said to the girl, smiling politely and professionally, almost as if they were there for a job meeting.

“Name?” She asked, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her index finger.

“Fong.”

“You gave my name?” Evan asked, alarmed, eyes basically bugging out of his head. “Are you fucking insane?”

“Relax, cutie.” The girl said, clearly used to that kind of situation. “This is purely formal.” She assured him.

Evan was muttering some irritated nonsense under his breath when another girl walked in, wearing high heels, a skirt that could have easily been a belt and a tank top with a black lace bra underneath. She had long brown hair and light brown eyes, and Evan thought she could have been a model or an actress instead of a stripper.

“Follow me.” She grinned, seductively, leading them inside the club.

The dim light of the place made it hard for Evan to make sure the place was clean enough for his standards, but the pavement wasn’t sticky, which he considered a good thing. The table that his friends had booked was right in the middle of the room, in front of a relatively big stage with two poles on it and two men in nothing but their underwear grinding against them.

Sitting at the other tables there were both men and women, cheering and throwing dollar bills on the stage.

So that does actually happen, Evan thought, watching as the dancers dry humped the poles and people stretched to slip bills in their underwear.

The group of women next to them were being particularly loud, so loud that Evan missed the part where their waitress took the order for their drinks.

“Don’t worry, Evan. Bud Light. I’ve got you.” Luke assured him with a wink, while Marcel gaped at the retrieving figure of the brunette.

“You’re drooling all over yourself, man.” Tyler teased him, making Marcel blush and quickly look away from her.

“Hey, I have eyes and she is gorgeous. Sue me.” Marcel leaned back against his armchair, checking his phone before he slipped it back into his pocket.

Soon enough, there were drinks in their hands, which Evan was extraordinarily grateful for, because he really needed one.

“I’d like to toast the groom to be!” Luke said, raising his glass of Whiskey. “May your married life be happy and satisfying.” He wished him with a wide smile, and Evan smiled in return.

“May you fuck the bitch out of Sydney soon.” Tyler muttered, making Evan glare, and Craig snort slapping his shoulder.

“Cheers!” Their glasses clung together and they all took big sips.

One drink turned into two drinks, then two drinks turned into three and suddenly Evan wasn’t hating that place anymore. He wasn’t loving it, fuck no, but at least he was laughing. He was having a good time, mostly because he was there with his best friends.

Evan loved his friends so much.

The music was still loud and the flashing lights were almost blinding sometimes, but there was something oddly relaxing about the way he couldn’t even hear himself thinking. He couldn’t hear the voice in  the back of his head reminding him that watching men dancing and strip on a stage was something that only a gay man would have done. 

He couldn’t hear Sydney’s voice yelling at him that he was doing something inappropriate, screeching about what the family and his viewers would have thought if they knew. He couldn’t hear his father crying, and sobbing about how that wasn’t how he had raised him.  
He couldn’t hear all of that and there was a wide grin on his lips, because it felt good. The drinks were sweet and fresh and the whole place was constantly sprayed with perfume, which made his head feel a little dizzy and his heart a little less heavy.

“Okay, Evan, you have to promise us you won’t get mad!” Luke yelled above the music, wrapping an arm around Evan’s shoulders and laughing loudly in his ear.

“What? Why?” Evan turned his head as the music suddenly changed.

A man walked on the stage, wearing a suit that looked really similar to the one Evan had picked for his wedding day. It was black and the shirt was white, there was a bright red rose in the buttonhole of the jacket’s pocket and his black shoes was so neatly polished they reflected the light.

The guy could have been around Evan’s age. He had beautiful dark brown hair that was long on the top and shorter on the sides. It looked incredibly soft under the bluelights of the stage, he was tall and lean and the pants he was wearing were just too tight to be comfortable.

Evan was staring.

He tuned out whatever Luke was saying and stared up at the man.

And the man stared down at him with a wicked grin on his face and a very much amused glint in his crystal blue eyes that had Evan’s heart racing.

“I heard we have a groom to be here tonight!” He said, putting his hands on his hips. The crowd cheered and Evan flushed red, whipping his head so fast towards Luke that was a miracle his neck didn’t snap.

“You fucking didn’t.” Evan gritted out.

“We fucking did.” Tyler cut in, hiding his smirk behind his glass.

“He’s right here!” David yelled, pointing at Evan with both his index fingers.

Now, Evan was a generally quiet man. He didn’t like confrontation, he preferred excessive workouts, punching walls, and muttering under his breath to deal with things, but most importantly, he had never seriously considered murdering someone before.  
That night, when the man laughed and hopped down, taking Evan’s hand, dragging him back on the stage and sitting him down on a chair, he started to contemplate the most creative ways to kill his friends.

Evan’s heart was hammering in his chest, his cheeks were warm and bright red and his eyes were so comically wide he must have looked like a scared lemur.

Brian, Tyler, Lui, Brock, and Scotty were laughing so loudly Evan could hear them better than the music. He was gripping the sides of the chair so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

That was a bad idea, he should have fucking seen it coming and he was going to hate his friends forever after this. They were all officially uninvited to the wedding. He was going to block them on all his social media, unfollow their channels, and find himself new friends. 

Friends that didn’t set up a gay strip tease for him during his bachelor party. Friends that didn’t laugh and clap each time the man standing behind him said something particularly allusive.

Evan was so tense on that chair that every single nerve in his body was a second away from snapping broken. 

The stripper waited for a new song to start and Evan was so not ready for whatever was about to happen.

And of course, of fucking course, the song his friends had picked was one he had wrote.  
Evan had to admit that the song was pretty sexy in this setting and he could have even found it funny if only he had had a million drinks more than the four he had downed.  
The beat pumped under Evan’s ribcage as the stripper started dancing in front of him, moving his hips fast in a thrusting-like motion that made Evan flush even more.

Always at your doorway when it's dark outside  
No, I shouldn't be, I'm only yours part-time  
You're risking a lot on me  
Finding love's like the lottery  
Tryna win but it's haunting me

The stripper dropped on his knees in front of Evan and pushed his knees apart, making him gasp in surprise and hold onto the chair even tighter than he already was as he slid between them, standing back up slowly, sliding his large and pale hands up Evan’s tense thighs.

I don’t wanna want you but I do

Evan almost shook his head at the lyrics, because fuck no, he didn’t want that. He wasn’t ready to have a dancing stranger between his legs and watching him as he took the jacket of the suit he was wearing off and threw it away, making the women scream and the men whistle loudly.

The shirt fitted his lean figure perfectly and Evan stared up at him, watching as the man winked at him and turned towards the crowd, squatting down all of a sudden and grinding his ass against Evan’s crotch in rhythm with the music.

Evan didn’t know if it was the alcohol or a mental breakdown, but he started giggling and shaking his head as the stripper danced in front of him. His legs were still open wide, and, without even noticing it, his teeth had sunk down in his lower lips.

He wanted another drink because his mouth was very dry and it was suddenly really hot in the club.

Wasn’t it?

I'm risking everything for you  
I'm risking everything  
I'm risking everything for you  
I'm risking everything

Evan almost shuddered when he was pulled up on his feet and the stripper sunk on his knees again, right in front of him and holding his hips so tight Evan wondered if there were going to be bruises afterwards.  
For some reason, he didn’t even care about that.

The man looked up at him with a wicked grin on his face and licked his lips so slowly and so erotically that the blood in each and every vein in Evan’s body stirred, especially in those alarmingly close to his groin. He breathed out shakily when the stripper stood back up, slowly, letting their bodies slide and mould together. They stared into each other’ eyes and suddenly Evan didn’t feel so tense anymore.

He didn’t feel tense as the man spun him under his arm and pulled Evan’s back flushed against his chest, keeping an arm wrapped around him, his other hand firmly curved around Evan’s hip and his face hidden in the crook of his neck.

Evan didn’t feel tense and he definitely didn’t know what demon possessed him when he tilted his head to the side, letting those sinful lips brush against his skin and stop against his pulse point.

I don't wanna want you  
I don't wanna want you  
I don't wanna want you

Evan had his eyes closed, so he couldn’t see his friends faces but, for some reason, he couldn’t even hear their laughs anymore.  
The stripper grinded his hips against his ass, making Evan gasp for air and his head fall back against his shoulder. He was suddenly being spun around and their eyes met again. Evan looked at him through his half closed lashes and genuinely whimpered when the man legitimately tore the shirt he was wearing off of himself.

Evan’s eyes went wide as he stared as his toned chest the curves of his defined abs and biceps. The only sign of hair on his body was the trail of dark hair that followed the underside of his navel and the waistband of his pants. Evan’s mouth definitely didn’t water at the sign of that gorgeous V-line and he most definitely didn’t want to trace it with his tongue, seeing where it would have led him.  
But he didn’t want that, because he wasn’t gay.

He wasn’t.

He had a fiancé at home, sleeping in their bed, and that’s where he was supposed to be, not between the arms of a shirtless stranger that was grinding against his ass so slow and so good that Evan felt his vision go blurry and his pants becoming so uncomfortably tight that he just knew everyone in the room could see how hard he was.

I don't wanna want you  
I don't want you closer, baby

Evan held onto his shoulders as he picked him up, moving his hips and pretending he was thrusting into him in a way that made Evan wish he was.

God, why did he wish he was?

I don't wanna want you  
But I do  
But I do  
But I do  
But I do

“Can I get a loud round of cheers for this gorgeous groom that was game enough to play along?” The stripper said, loudly, putting Evan back down on his wiggling knees, but keeping an arm securely wrapped around his waist. He was breathing heavily and Evan couldn’t really blame him.

The public clapped and cheered and Evan had to blink himself back to reality. He ran off stage and back in the secure comfort of his arm chair, downing the first drink he found on the glass table and coughing from how strong it was.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked, eyebrows raised and an all too entertained grin on his face.

“Fine!” Evan croaked out, vigorously nodding his head and drinking a sip of another drink, much more sweeter than the other.

“Hey, you did so good! We were afraid you were going to bolt.” Tyler said, patting Evan’s shoulder in a mock empathic way.

“Fuck off, I hate you all.” Evan hissed, glaring daggers.

“You’re gonna hate us eve more now.” David chuckled, chewing on his lower lip.

“Oh god.”  Evan groaned, slumping against the backrest. “What now?”

“We may have paid for a private show.” Brock was struggling to hold back his laughter. “You looked like you were enjoying it, so we thought it would have been a good idea.”

“Brock, do me a fucking favor. The next time you guys think you had a good idea, fucking trash it, okay?” Evan snapped, running a hand through his hair like he did when he was nervous. His friends chuckled and, before he could even catch his breath again, the girl with the brown hair and the legs excessively long was right in front of him, smiling.

“Follow me, sir.” She said, walking towards a door that wasn’t really a door, but a thick, velvet red curtain.

“Come on, Evan. Live a little.” Craig suggested, giving Evan’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

His legs moved on their own. They pulled him on his unsteady feet and dragged him behind that red curtain. The music there was completely different, much more slow and low. 

There were a lot of small cabins, each of them with its own curtain. The waitress pulled one open and smiled at Evan, gesturing towards the little velvet couch that was inside.

“He will be here any second now.” She assured him, closing the curtain behind him and leaving him alone.

Evan took a couple of deep breaths and paced the small space. He considered the possibility of leaving. He considered the possibility of leaving fifty bucks on the couch and bolt as fast as he could, but, before he could worry any longer, the same man that made him hard in his pants not more than ten minutes before, was right in front of him.

He gently pushed him back on the couch and Evan fell right on top of it, sitting rigidly and looking up at him with wide eyes.  
“I have a fiancé.” He said, clearing his throat and avoiding his gaze. “My friends are jerks.” He shook his head and tried to control his breathing.

Then, there was someone sitting next to him and a hand on his thigh. A thumb was rubbing circles and Eddie’s eyes shifted closed for a second. “You’d be surprised to know how many times I’ve heart those exact same words.” The man laughed huskily. “How old are you?”

“23.” Evan managed to breath out as the man next to him cupped his inner thigh, squeezing lightly and pulling his leg open.  
“And you’re already getting married? Remarkable.” He grinned. “What’s your name?”

“Evan.” He said, maybe too quickly.

“What’s your name?” He asked, turning his head to look at him and, god, he wished he didn’t.

That face looked like it had been sculpted by Michelangelo himself, with perfect cheekbones and a jaw line so sharp that he could have cut his finger by touching it. His eyes were big and beautifully blue and, fuck, was that eyeliner?

“Jay.” He replied, making Eddie blink in surprise.

“Like the letter?”

“Like the letter.” Jay confirmed, licking his lips and grinning. 

“So, who’s the lucky man?” He asked, toying with the collar of Evan’s shirt.

“That’s the whole point. It’s not a man, I’m engaged to a woman. I’m not gay. This,” He gestured to the space around him. “Is all a big joke.”

Hay raised his eyebrows in surprise and a smile tugged at his lips. 

“Are you serious?” He asked, clearly amused by the whole situation.

“Yes! I shouldn’t even be here. I wanted to go out and get some beer with the guys, or play some of our favorite video games!” He whined, running his hands though his hair and hiding his face between his hands. “This is the worst night of my life.” He realized what he had said a second after he spoke, and he quickly looked up at Jay, eyes wide with regret.

“That’s not- I mean, you… You are great! Really, I mean it, you are so, so great.” He said, sounding a little breathless as he spoke the last words because he got lost in those big, brown eyes. “But this isn’t me.”

Jay smiled and reached up with a hand, catching Evan’s chin between his fingers and staring into his eyes. 

“Who are you, then?”  
Evan looked up at him and his heart swelled in his chest. 

“I’m…  I’m a normal person, or well, sort of normal. I’m a YouTuber and I play video games with my friends, I visit my family quite often, I go to gaming conventions and I have a beautiful girlfriend.” He replied, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. 

“Who are you?”  
Jay thought about it, but his eyes never moved away from Evan’s. 

“I’m exactly what you see.”

Evan saw the most beautiful and attractive man he had ever laid his eyes on. He saw someone that could make his stomach tighten and his heart flutter in his chest. Someone who could make him hard in his pants for the second time in fifteen minutes with only a hand on his thigh.

Without saying anything, Jay pulled Evan on his lap, gripping his hips tight and grinding up against him. Evan moaned obscenely, throwing his head back and wrapping his arms around his shoulders because, god, he was more worked up than he had ever been in his entire life.

Actually,  at that moment, he thought that maybe he had never even been worked up before. He wanted nothing more than tear Jay’s shirt away and lick his way down his chest, bite and suck his skin, taste it on his tongue.

But he wasn’t fucking gay, so what the hell was going on with him?

“This is how it’s supposed to feel.” Jay said in Evan’s ear, sliding his hands up Evan’s thighs and brushing his lips over his neck. “When you’re with her, this is how you should feel. This is how much you should want her.”  
Evan closed his eyes, thinking about the times they kissed and the way Sydney always seemed to be as rigid as a stone. Not that Evan was particularly into it, but when he closed his eyes and let his fantasy run towards images he was too afraid to face, she had always pushed him back.

“She wants to wait until we’re married.” Evan breathed, burying his fingers in the long part of his hair.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

Jay licked his lips, smiling. “Do you want to wait until you’re married?”

Evan shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t mind.”

“Because you respect her choice, or because you don’t care?”

The question left Evan speechless, because he had never really thought about it. Sex with Sydney wasn’t something he thought about, nor even looked forward to. He imagined himself on top of her, inside her and the mere image made his stomach turn and his nose wrinkle.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “I shouldn’t be here.” He tried to stand up but Jay winded an arm around him, keeping their chests flushed together and his lips a mere inch away from Evan’s.

“This is exactly where you should be, Ev.” He breathed against his lips, making Evan shudder and hold onto the collar of Jay’s shirt.

“I’m not gay.” Evan protested weakly, chewing on his bottom lip. “This… This is wrong. I’m not gay, I’m engaged, I’ll be married in two months.”

“A lot of things can happen in two months.”  
Evan opened his eyes and met Jay’s gaze. “What could happen?”

Jay’s hands slid up Evan’s back until it reached his neck, then curved around his cheek. Jay’s thumb pressed against Evan’s lower lip and parted it from the upper, letting it rest there and making Evan grip tighter onto him as, without even thinking about it, he teased the fingertip with his tongue.

“You could meet someone new.”  Jay whispered, letting his thumb slip inside Evan’s mouth. 

Evan immediately wrapped his lips around it, sucking it slowly and running his tongue around it.

He didn’t stop.

There was a glint in Jay’s eyes, a sparkle that made Evan want to bury his hands in that silky hair, and tug and crash their lips together. No one had ever looked at him the was Jay was. No one had ever touched him like that, held him like that, and Evan wanted it all and more.  
Jay thrust his hips up and Evan felt that he was hard as well. He parted his lips and his thumb fell out of his mouth, but he was quick to make up for it as he brought their faces close to each other. Evan could feel Jay’s fast breathing on his lips and his arms tightening around him, which only made Evan more desperate.

“Why do I want you?” Evan breathed out, moaning when Jay guided his hips into a grinding motion with his hands.

He was right in the middle of an inner conflict and he didn’t know how on earth he was going to come out of it. He was sitting on a stranger’s lap, hard as a rock in his pants and he was grinding against him. Against another man.

And it felt so fucking good.

Jay looked up at him. His eyes were darker than they were before and his hands were rougher on Evan.

“Why do I fucking want you?” Evan asked again, panting against Jay’s lips and whimpering when the man grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer.

Why did he fucking want him? Why was he having such an hard time breathing?

“That’s what happens when you’re attracted to someone, Ev.”  Jay said with a cheeky grin.

“That’s not my name.” Evan said, bumping his nose against Jay’s. 

“Do you do this often?” He asked, sliding his hands against Jay’s chest.

“Engage conversations with clients?”  Jay teased, smiling up at him and holding his hips still. He chuckled and then shook his head. “I get paid to let my clients have fun. It doesn’t necessarily mean having sex. I’m not a hooker.” He explained, running his hands up 

Evan’s sides. “I have sex with those I like the most.” He confided to him.

“Does that happen a lot?” Evan asked again, pushing his lower lip forward and stroking the man’s cheekbones with his thumbs.

“Why? Do you want to be special?”  
Yes.

“I don’t want to have sex with you. I’m engaged.” Evan bit his bottom lip and shuddered when Jay’s lips brushed against his. 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t either.”

Evan looked into those crystal blue eyes and kept cradling Jay’s face between his hands.  
“No one has ever touched me like this before.” He admitted, watching as the expression in the other man’s eyes softened. “I know that I’m just another client to you. I’m not that stupid to believe that I’m special.”

“You’re just another client, I’m just another stripper.” Jay held him closer and brought a hand up to cup the back of Evan’s neck. 

“We’re a match made in heaven.” He whispered.

“Do you usually talk this much with your clients?” Evan teased, which made Jay smirk.

“Why? Would you like me to put my mouth to better use?” He brought their lips closer. “And maybe show you what is like to want and be wanted?”

Evan’s eyes drifted closed and his lips parted against his will. Jay growled softly above him and his hands squeezed Evan’s hips. They both looked at each other through half closed lids and then, all of a sudden, there was a tongue sliding against his own. They weren’t kissing, not yet, because their lips weren’t touching, but it didn’t take long for that.  
Evan grabbed a fistful of Jay’s hair and tugged him forward, crashing their lips together with so much strength that he heard the man groan in surprise.

And then there were hands pulling at each other’s clothes, teeth biting each other’s skin and lips sliding together like they had been made to do just so.

Jay flipped them over and pressed Evan down on the cushions, desperately grinding against him and thrusting his tongue inside Evan’s mouth.

“Your name… Tell me your name.” Evan pleaded, kissing him back with just as much urgency and sliding his hands under Jay’s shirt.

The man didn’t answer, making Evan almost forget all about his question and get lost in the sensations again, until he stroked Evan’s hair away from his ear. “Jonathan.” He murmured, nibbling the soft spot under Evan’s ear and then kissing it. “My name is Jonathan.”

Jonathan.  
Jonathan.

Evan was euphoric. He felt like he wasn’t even on earth anymore, but floating in space with a man between his legs and it was marvelous.  
It was everything Evan had always feared, and now he felt like he and never wanted anything more.

Jonathan was kissing him so deep and so good that his toes were curling in his shoes. He had never imagined that kissing could have been so satisfying. Kissing Sydney was never like this.

Kissing Jonathan was like coming to life again.  
He wrapped his legs around Jonathan’s waist and pulled Evan’s hair, which made him groan and kiss him a little harder.

Evan was so hard it was starting to hurt, and Jonathan had obviously noticed.

“Fuck, baby.” Jonathan sighed, fumbling with Evan’s belt, unfastening it.

Evan lifted his hips up pressing the bulge in his underwear against Richie’s hand and crying out at the feeling. 

“Fuck me, Jonathan. Please.”

He didn’t want to be one of those clients, but he couldn’t help himself.

He was hard, he wanted to cum, and he wanted to do it while Jonathan was inside him, thrusting like his life depended on it.

You’ve cheated on me? With a man!?  
Fucking Fagot!

Evan squeezed his eyes shut he didn’t want to think anymore about how it felt to be deprived of right to have feelings. He didn’t want to think about the punches, the kicks, the laughter, the night spent crying himself to sleep.

You’re going to throw away your whole career because of this! 

Evan pushed Jonathan away and his eyes shot open, almost as he had just been burned with the tip of a cigarette. “No, no, stop!” He cried, pushing Jonathan off of him and standing up.

“What- wait, what’s going on?” Jonathan ran a hand though his curls, breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

“I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m not- no! This is wrong.” He shook his head, feeling his head fuzzy and his knees weak.

“Hey, hey, baby, breathe.” Jonathan stood up and cupped Evan’s cheeks, but Evan pushed him back again.

“Don’t touch me!” He cried, holding a hand up in front of him, looking at Jonathan. “I am not a faggot.”

Jonathan blinked his eyes and tried to get close to him again. “Of course you aren’t, Evan. That’s such a fucking disgusting word.”

“This is wrong. All of this is wrong. I have a fiancé. I… I love her.” His voice was starting to break. “I’m not gay.” He whispered, shaking his head and gritting his teeth. “I’m not.”  
Jonathan ignored Evan’s protests and pulled him between his arms, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying his hand in Evan’s faux hawk.

Evan squeezed his eyes shut. “You know nothing about me.” He managed to say, fighting his tears back.

“Have you any idea of how many men I’ve met that were just like you? Terrified by how much they wanted to touch another man, scared of what people might think. It’s no fucking picnic, Evan, I can give you that much.” 

Jonathan caught Evan’s chin between his fingers and tilted his head up. “But you can either live the rest of your life pretending to be someone you’re not, or admit that you just begged me to fuck you because that’s what you want. That’s who you are.”

“I don’t want you.” Evan lied, out of pride and fear. Mostly fear. “I am drunk, okay? I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Then go back to your friends and drink some more. Maybe you’ll even manage to forget everything about this.” Jonathan frowned mocking the irony of the situation.

 “You are exactly the kind of person my parents wanted to keep me away from.” Evan took a step back, shaking his head. “This is not how things are supposed to be.” He said, gesturing back and forth between the two of them.

“Fuck how things are supposed to be.” Jonathan said, reaching out to touch Evan again, but he pulled the curtain open.

“Goodbye, Jonathan.” Evan said and, before the other man could say anything else, he was hurrying back to his friends.  
   
——  
   
Evan was lying in bed with his eyes fixed on the ceiling and his mind still in that night club.

Sydney was snoring next to him, laying on her back with her mouth hanging open. Though she was still absolutely gorgeous, Evan couldn’t bring himself to desire her. 

He had never imagined her hand when he jerked off, nor dreamed about her when they first started dating. He had never missed her when they weren’t together and he had never wanted to touch her under her clothes.

He was actually glad that Sydney wanted to wait before they had sex, because that meant he had more time. More time to figure out what was wrong with him and why he didn’t want to sleep with his girlfriend like any normal man would.

But god, he did want to touch Jonathan under his clothes. He wanted to be touched under his clothes.

He wanted to have sex with him. He turned his head and groaned in the pillow, running a hand through his hair and pulling it nervously. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gritted out, making Sydney stir by his side.

“Evan honey? What’s going on?” She mumbled, sleepily.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

Sydney yawned and turned her back to him. “Where did you go tonight?”

“To Tyler’s, we played some GTA and ordered a pizza. We had a good time.” He lied, looking at the nape of her neck and watching as he breathing evened out again.

Yes, Sydney was the type of person that another man could have gone crazy about. 

Evan sighed and went back to stare at the ceiling. He wondered what it would have been like to lay in bed with someone he wasn’t afraid to touch. Someone to roll between the sheets with, laughing and cuddling. Evan had never had any of that.

Why are we getting married?

He closed his eyes and tried to forget all about Jonathan. He tried to destroy every single memory, or at least lock them into some forgotten area of his brain, but the tingle of Jonathan’s lips against his own was still there. The burning desire of getting to feel him was still there. He bit his lower lip, turning his back to her as well and hiding his face in the pillow.  
Evan wanted to scream and throw something against the wall, but he just laid in bed instead.

He was going to be married in two months, whether he liked it or not. He couldn’t let everyone down. He couldn’t let his family down, not after everything they had done for him.

And maybe, one day, everything would have turned out okay. Maybe he was just having a phase of confusion, he was just stressing out because of the wedding.

Yeah, everything was going to back to normal. Sydney was going to be his wide, and that was how things were supposed to be.

Fuck how things are supposed to be.

He closed his eyes as Jonathan’s voice filled his head up, making him feel warm again and clutch the sheets against his chest.

Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan.  
Fuck, Jon...

Evan tried to push away every single memory of that night for five days.

They feelt like the longest five days of his life. He pretended he didn’t think about Jonathan’s lips whenever Sydney leaned in to peck his lips, he pretended he didn’t think about Jonathan’s body pressed against his own while he stroked himself in the shower, fast and angry, sinking his teeth down on his bottom lip and hating himself because he came hard and choking back Jonathan’s name.

Jonathan, the stripper. Jonathan, the one who fucked with the clients he liked the most behind a red curtain, in the dim light. 

Jonathan, the one who undressed himself for money.

Evan couldn’t believe that, between all people, he had started to develop interest for a stripper.

He hated himself even more for that. He tried to go back to his ordinary life: going to work, coming back home, showering every night and every morning, making sure the bills had been paid.

Dull, dull, dull.

Everything seemed so dull and so pointless that it was almost depressing.  Every day was just the same, nothing new ever happened.

Dull.

“I’ve signed us up for dance lessons.” Sydney said while she was stirring the sauce.

Evan looked up from his phone with an eyebrow raised. “Dance lessons?”

“For our first dance.” Sydney sighed, almost as if it was completely obvious. Maybe it even was, but Evan’s mind was so far away from the wedding that he hadn’t even taken it into consideration.

Their first dance as husband and wife. Their first dance, during their wedding, on their wedding day.

Evan’s stomach twisted and knotted, but he only cleared his throat. “Oh, right. Of course.”

“We need to be ready Evan. I don’t want to look dumb in front of the girls.” She turned her head and smiled at him laughing.

She looked pretty. She had her hair tied up in a messy bun, she was wearing high waist jeans with a long sleeved baby blue shirt tucked in them. Evan thought that he should have wanted to palm Sydney’s round ass and give it a squeeze, but he didn’t. He just thought she was wearing a nice pair of jeans that looked good on her.

“Yeah, no, I get it. Dance lessons. It’s a good idea.” He said and kept scrolling through his channels feed and then looked up at her again. “When are we going?”

“We start tomorrow night. Two times a week for four weeks, how does that sound? The guy I’ve talked to said that he can teach us basically whatever kind of dance we want. He said he also has a female colleague if we feel more comfortable with a woman, but we don’t want you to run off to the sunset with some girl right before our wedding, right?” Sydney chuckled, but Evan knew she meant every single world.

“That would never happen, Syd.”

Literally, that would never happen.

The building was made of green bricks, large windows and a couple of graffiti near the front door. Evan’s grip tightened around the strap of his bag and his nose wrinkled when he smelled the faint scent of sweat inside.

There was a long corridor of doors, each of them had a number printed on and Evan wondered if the smell was just as bad inside each of those rooms.

“Ah, you must be Sydney Fong.” A voice said from behind their backs, and Evan’s blood froze in his veins because no, there was no way that the universe would have done this to him. He didn’t deserve this.

“Not yet.” She giggled, squeezing Evan’s hand as she turned. “But will be very soon.”

Evan turned very slowly and yes, he had heard right.

Jonathan.  
Jon.

Their eyes met and Jonathan’s widened for a second, but he didn’t let anything more than that show his surprise. “Well, aren’t you just a lovely couple?” He grinned, making Evan want to punch him right in the face. 

“Sydney, why don’t you go to Studio 3 and start to get ready? My colleague’s inside, she’ll help you pick the right music. I’ll steal your man for some paper work.” He said with another charming smile.

“Of course!” She squeezed Evan’s bicep and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, honey.

Evan hummed and nodded, watching as Sydney disappeared behind the door with the 3 hung on top of it.

After a moment of silence, his head snapped back to Jonathan. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He hissed, walking towards him.

“What do you mean what the fuck am I doing here? I work here.” Jonathan whispered, clearly trying to keep it low and not cause a scene.

“I thought you worked at ‘Boys, boys, boys!’ Evan said, probably sounding meaner than he intended to. “Now you’re a dance teacher?”

“I’m a dance teacher and a stripper. Gotta pay the bills somehow, you know?” Jonathan was smirking, and Evan hated himself for how attractive he found him. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Ev. I’m not going to say a word.”

“Good, because there is nothing to say.” Evan poked his chest with his index finger. “Nothing ever happened. That night never existed. We’ve just met.” He punctuate every sentence with another poke, making Jonathan chuckle.

“You think this is funny?”

“Yes, actually.” Jonathan replied easily. “Very much so.”

“You’re an asshole.” Evan hissed, glaring up at him.

Jonathan stared down in his eyes and, for a second, Evan’s knees felt like jelly. “You’re no saint yourself.”

“Evan!” Sydney opened the door, wearing leggings and a large t-shirt. “Are you ready?”

“I’ll be right there, darling.” Evan called back, then glared back at Jonathan.

“I expect you to be professional.” Evan whispered, and Jonathan grinned.

“I’ve always been professional.”

Evan glared again and grabbed his bag from the ground, storming inside the studio and feeling his heart beating his way out of his chest.

Breathe, Evan.

The studio smelled so distinctively like Jonathan that he was intoxicating. He turned and opened the window without thinking twice about it, feeling hot all over.

“So, you said that you wanted to learn Waltz, right? Do you have any prior experience with dancing?” Jonathan asked, closing the door behind his back and stretching his arms. Evan’s mouth watered at the sight of his flexing biceps and shoulders and wished Jonathan was wearing a sweater, not a bloody tank top.

“Yes, I was a dancer in high school.” Sydney grinned, wrapping her arms around Evan and kissing his cheek. “I’ve taken dance classes for years, but Evan is a bit stiff.” She chuckled, biting her lower lip.

“Oh, I can see that.” Jonathan laughed. Evan glared daggers, while Sydney just smiled, not really sure of whether she was supposed to laugh or not. “You should stretch a bit before we start. Sore muscles are your worst enemies.”

They stretched and warmed up until Jonathan moved towards the stereo, flicking between the CDs. “Okay, so, before we begin, show me what you can do.” He pressed play and the room was filled with soft, slow music. 

Evan wasn’t really sure of what he was supposed to do with his hands, so Jonathan stepped in. “You have to hold her waist, like this.” He gently took Evan’s hand and guided it to Sydney’s side. Sydney took Evan’s other hand and held it up, then started moving. Evan stumbled back and Sydney huffed, annoyed.  At their second attempt, Evan stepped on Sydney’s foot and she groaned, rolling her eyes so hard he was afraid they were going to fall off. 

Jonathan stopped them after the third failed attempt, putting a hand on Sydney’s shoulder. “You should let him lead, sweetheart.” He told Sydney.

“But he doesn’t know how to.” She pointed out, and Evan rolled his eyes.

“That’s why we’re here. To learn.”

“I don’t need to learn, I already know how to dance!” She protested, moving away from Evan’s hold.

“Then why did you want to come here if you’re so good already!?” Evan snapped, making Sydney in anger.

“Because you are not and I don’t want you to step on my shoes on our wedding day!”

“Okay!” Jonathan cut in, clapping his hands together and grinning in an uncomfortable and amused way. “Relax, okay? Dance is about harmony.” He said, and Evan scoffed. 

“You need to feel that connection when you dance.” Jonathan said, looking at Evan and making him shiver. 

“Your partner needs to feel that you’re comfortable.”

Their eyes met for a second and Evan licked his lips, holding his breath.

“Maybe you should be taking lessons then.” Sydney said, putting her hands on her hips. “You’re the one who’s as stiff as a stick, after all, not me.”

Evan blinked and looked at her in confusion. “I thought you wanted to do this together. This was your idea.”

“Well, maybe I’ve changed my mind?” Sydney hissed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want to pay for something I’m already good at.” 

She grabbed her bag from the corner of the room, where she had left it. “We’ll rehearse our first dance the last two weeks, hoping that you’ll at least be decent by that point.”

“It’s nice to know that we’re in this together.” Evan gritted out. Sydney flipped her hair back and shrugged.

“I still have to choose the flowers anyway, so I don’t have any time to waste.”  She pouted and looked at Evan. “You understand, right?”

“Not really, but whatever.” Evan said, shrugging.

Jonathan looked between the two of them and Sydney smiled at him. “Be patient with him.” She said, then waved. “I’ll see you at home.” She chirped, leaving the studio.

What followed, was a long, uncomfortable silence.

Then, Jonathan started laughing.  
Evan glared at him, but then he started laughing  as well.

“That was-“ Jonathan chuckled, shaking his head.

“Welcome to my world.” Evan wiped his teary eyes and kept giggling.

Jonathan grabbed Evan’s hips and pulled him close to him, making him gasp and take hold of Jonathan’s tank top. “I thought you were off duty.” He said, looking up at him and glancing at his lips.

“I am.” Jonathan grinned, leaning down.  
And Evan really was just a breath away to let Jonathan kiss him, but then he pushed him away, vigorously shaking his head. “Na-uh. No. Red alert, nope.” He said, holding a hand up to keep distance between them. “This is not happening.”

Jonathan folded his arms on his chest, looking at Evan with a fond and amused expression on his face. “What’s not happening?”

“This.”

“And what’s this?” He insisted.

“This thing between you and me. It’s not happening.” Evan said quickly. “I. Have. A. Fiancé. I’m not going to throw everything away and have an affair with another man!”

“An affair? You sound like a Jane Austen’s character.” Jonathan joked, running a hand though his hair.

“Stop it. You’re going to teach me how to dance and then I’ll dance my way out of here.”  
Jonathan laughed, loud and beautiful, throwing his head back and making Evan want to press his lips and his tongue on that pale throat.

“We better get started, then.” Jonathan flashed him with a cheeky smile and Evan squinted his eyes. “What? I meant with the training.”

“I hate you so much.” Evan hissed.

I want you so much.

Evan hadn’t took feelings into consideration.  
He could deal with desire, because desire was something he could have easily controlled. He could have managed to spend two hours in the dance studio, touching and being touched, breathing the same air as Jonathan and feeling his hands on the bare skin of his arms. 

He could have dealt with the stares, the lingering looks, the burning need to tear the clothes off of Jon right then and there, because he was a grown man and not an hormonal teenager anymore. He knew how to control his impulses and no, tearing the clothes off of his dance instructor, which just casually happened to be the same stripped he had begged to fuck him, during the rehearsals for his wedding day, didn’t seem  like the greatest idea.

Even though it definitely did sound like one.  
But no, Evan could ignore the desire. He could ignore it until he was alone in the shower, anyway.

What he couldn’t ignore, though, were the feelings.

He couldn’t ignore the way his heart picked up his race every time Jonathan smiled at him, the way he always wanted to laugh when he was around Jon. He couldn’t ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach, the way they seemed to have been born to dance together, swaying at the rhythm of music. He couldn’t ignore the way he spent his nights awake, thinking about him and feeling like a teenager again.

He couldn’t ignore that.

—

“So, wait a second.” Tyler said, eyebrows furrowed and bud light stopped halfway to his mouth. “The stripper we paid during your bachelor party is now your dance teacher?” He asked, incredulously. “And you’re starting to have feelings for him?” He added, still holding his bottle up. “And you’re telling us this now?”

“Jesus, Tyler, why don’t you talk a little louder? The people on the other side of the city probably didn’t hear you.” Evan hissed, looking around himself to make sure no one had heard.

They were sitting in their favorite brunch place.

“B-but he’s a man.” Ryan said, cutting his sausage.

“Really? Oh shit, Ryan. I didn’t notice. This changes everything.” Evan said in mock surprise and Marcel snorted.

“What Ryan means is that, well, you’re marrying a woman.” Craig pointed out.

“Okay, first of all, the spectrum is really wide, you ignorant fuckers.” He said, holding his index finger up. “Second of all, I’m not saying I’m gay. Third, I’m not calling off the wedding for a stupid infatuation on a man who strips for money and fourth,” He cut himself off, reaching forward the glass in front of him. 

“Nothing happened since the bachelor party, and nothing will.” He concluded.  
His friends exchanged looks. 

“So… You cheated on Sydney.” David said, and Evan choked on his drink.

“What? No. No, hold on.” He said, shaking his head. “I didn’t cheat. I was drunk and confused and not really sure of what was going on. I kissed him, yeah, okay, but it doesn’t mean anything.”

“You’re right. You deserve the ‘Groom to Be of the Year’ award.” Tyler deadpanned. Everyone except for Evan chuckled.

“Fuck off. It was just a distraction.”

“But you just said you’re starting to have feelings for this guy.” Brian said, glancing at Evan before stuffing his mouth with pancakes.

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to run off to the sunset with him! I’m not gay, this is just… Just an infatuation.”

“Just an infatuation.” Marcel repeated, looking everything but convinced. “Hey, can you ask your infatuation for the brunette’s number?”  
Evan glared at him and Marcel raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, never mind.”

Evan sighed and rubbed his eyes, downing what was left in his glass and leaning back against his chair.

Evan had always hated the concept of cheating, ever since he was a little kid. He couldn’t process the idea of cheating on the person you loved with someone else, because, if you really loved someone, you shouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else. 

He had never thought about cheating on Sydney before, but maybe that was because the entire section of his brain dedicated to feelings and attraction went completely numb. He simply wasn’t interested. It was almost as if Sydney had smothered whatever kind of physical impulse he might have had.

He was supposed to wait for her, that’s what his mother and her kept repeating.  
Mostly, he didn’t care. He just went along.

Evan hated going along.

He felt like his brain had been sedated ever since he was little.

Sometimes Evan felt like screaming. He felt like punching and crashing anything around him, crying and picking up a fight just to get punched. Just to get to feel something.  
And, hell, Jonathan made him feel so many things.

The mere thought of Jonathan’s arms around his waist as they spun around the studio, incapable of keeping a serious expressions, was enough to send shivers down his spine and make him smile. Evan loved those moments. 

He loved the way Jonathan always tried to kiss him after a particularly heated bickering session or choreography and he loved the way he laughed and rolled his eyes each time Evan pushed him away, biting his lips and blushing like a teenager.

Jonathan was constantly in his mind, no matter what he was doing. He thought of Jon when he was at work, answering the phone and hanging around the coffee machine. He thought of Jon each time Sydney kissed him, each time she asked him what he was thinking about.

Truth was, he was happier when he was with Jonathan. Jon made him laugh, he made him laugh so hard his stomach would hurt.  
He never asked Jon about the other job and Evan never talked about it. If Evan didn’t know, he would have never imagined.

That evening, after a particular heated argument with Sydney, Evan slammed the door of the bathroom and hid in there, breathing heavily, hands shaking in anger.  
You’re useless, Evan, useless! She had screamed at the top of her lungs, making Evan wince.

It was always like that with Sydney. Nothing ever pleased her, nothing ever made her content enough. Nothing Evan did, anyway, constantly complaining about this channel and telling him he spends too much time playing games.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and scrolled though his contacts, pressing his thumb so hard on Jonathan’s name that the screen’s pixels combined together in a big, blue-ish stain for a second.

“Evan?” Jonathan picked up after a couple of seconds, making Evan sigh in relief and hold onto the phone tighter.

“Jon…” He breathed, squeezing his eyes shut.

“What’s wrong?” Jonathan immediately asked. Evan bit his lower lip and smiled, hearing the concern on Jon’s voice.

“Nothing, nothing, I just… I just needed to hear your voice, I guess.” He murmured, feeling his heart hammer in his chest.

There was a pause. Evan cradled the phone against his hear and sighed. “Jon-“

“Was it Sydney?” Jonathan asked, and Evan sighed at the name.

“Yeah.” He admitted, sitting on the edge of the tub. He could hear music playing in the background and a small frown curved his forehead. “Are you still at the studio?”

“No, Ev.” Jonathan said, and Evan blinked his eyes in realization. “I have to be on stage in five minutes.”

Evan’s breathing picked up and tears welled in his eyes against his will. “Are you going to fuck someone tonight?”

“What?”

Evan squeezed his phone in anger. “You heard me.”

“I don’t know, Evan. Maybe. Why do you care anyway?” Jonathan asked, and Evan could hear that he was upset.

“I don’t. I don’t care.” He hissed, shaking his head almost as if Jon could have seen him.

“Good.”

Evan pulled his own there and chocked back an angry sob. “I fucking hate you.”

“Why? Because I do my job and you get jealous? You’re fucking engaged, Evan. You’ve been pretty clear about that.”

“I’m not jealous.” Evan shook his head again, even though his skin crawled at the thought of Jonathan kissing and touching someone else and his heart ached as he pictured the image in his head.

“I have to go now.” Jon said, and a tear rolled down Evan’s cheek.

“No, Jon, wait.” He bit his lower lip, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

“What?” Jonathan’s voice was softer and Evan’s heart melted like a chocolate left under the August sun.

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t fuck anyone tonight.” Evan said. Maybe pleaded.

“Why?”

“Just don’t…”

Jonathan was silent for a second, then he breathed shakily in the speaker. “I have to go.”

“Jon-“ The connection fell before Evan could say whatever he was about to say. He closed his eyes and slid back in the curve of the bathtub. His calves hung from the edge and he was cradling his phone in his hands, staying still.

“Get out of the bathroom! I need it!” Sydney was banging her hand against the door and Evan stared at it with an expression of pure and utter hate painted all over his face. “Evan! Get out! Now!”

Fine.

He stood up and yanked he door open, walked past her and hurried to the stairs.

“Where are you going?!” She cried, following him, voice laced with panic.

“Out.” Evan simply said, grabbing his jacket and his keys.

“Where are you going? Tell me! Where!?” She screeched, but Evan was already out of the door. “Evan!”

He didn’t even bother to answer, he just kept walking with his hands shoved in his pockets.  
Evan wasn’t a fan of the subway, but he only had 50 dollars in his wallet and needed all of them. Once he reached his stop, he ran out and, before he could even process what he was actually doing, he was walking through the door of “Boys, boys, boys!”.  He slammed the money on the counter, gaining a puzzled look by the girl behind the counter, and then walked inside.

He spotted Jonathan after less than five seconds. He was flirting with a man, grinning and looking at his lips and Evan’s stomach turned and knotted.

Jonathan was shirtless and he was wearing tight, mouthwatering leather pants. Even from that distance, Evan saw the glitter scattered on his chest and his cheekbones.

Jonathan was glowing. He was as beautiful as a god and Evan felt like crying or slapping him, he wasn’t sure.

His feet moved before his brain when he saw the man reaching up to touch Jonathan, because no, he couldn’t touch him. Evan didn’t want that man to get his filthy hands on the most precious thing in the world.

He stepped between the two of them without sparing the stranger with a second glance, but keeping his gaze fixed on Jonathan.

“Hey dude! What the fuck!?” The client complained, but Evan ignored him.  
He stood up on his tiptoes and cupped the sides of Jonathan’s face, parting his lips before he pressed them against his.

He looked at Jonathan through his lashes and saw him closing his eyes and melt under his touch, which made Evan’s heart flutter and his tense shoulders relax.

Jonathan kissed him back and put his hands on Evan’s waist, pulling him flush against his body and making him whimper against his lips.

“Ev…” He breathed. Evan buried a hand in his hair.

“I want you so much, Jon, it’s insane…” Evan held onto him, but Jonathan pulled away and took his hand without a word. He tugged him behind as he walked through a red curtain, along hallway where the music was muffled by the walls. He stopped in front of a back door and pushed him open, using Evan’s back to close it by pressing him against it.

“Where are we?” Evan managed to ask between the kisses.

“My changing room.” Jonathan smiled against his lips, cupping Evan’s cheeks. His lips were swollen and glistening, and Evan smiled with pride knowing he did that to him. “Are you going to run away again?”

Evan shook his head, looking up at him right in the eyes.

He grabbed Jonathan by the waistband of his ridiculously tight pants and spun them around, pushing the taller man against the door and making him gasp as his naked back collapsed against the cold surface. He sunk to his knees leaving a long trail of wet kissed behind, holding onto Jonathan’s hips as he kissed just under his navel.

“Fucking hell, Ev, what the fuck are you doing?” Jonathan panted, looking down at him with wide eyes.

Evan bit his lower lip, mostly out of his teasing nature than a nervous tic and then licked the outline of Jonathan’s hard length over the fabric of his pants.

“Oh fuck.” Jonathan’s head slumped back against the door, but Evan was quick to give him a gentle bite that made him groan.

“Look at me.” He ordered, not really sure where all of Evan’s boldness was coming from.  
He so desperately wanted to keep repeating to himself that he wasn’t gay, that this was just another distraction, but when he tugged Jonathan’s pants down and his cock sprang free, long and glorious... Evan’s mouth watered.

“Oh my god.” He breathed, staring at it with wide eyes, almost in awe.

“Like what you see?” Jonathan asked, a bit cheekily, but his cheeks were flushed and his breathing a little ragged.

Instead of replying, Evan took hold of Jonathan’s hips and licked his cock from the base to the tip in a long, slow motion that had Jonathan groaning and take hold of a fistful of Evan’s hair. “Oh fuck, baby.”

Evan grew even more bold from the name. He gripped the base of Jonathan’s cock and engulfed the tip in his mouth, sucking and wetting it with his tongue.  
Evan found out he really fucking loved having the weight of Jonathan’s cock in his mouth, on his tongue. He loved having his hair pulled and his mouth fucked as Jonathan pushed his hips forward.

“Sorry, I got… fuck. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” Jonathan breathed.

He guided Evan’s head by cupping the back of his neck and Evan took him back in his mouth, sucking and moaning around him, stroking with his hand what he couldn’t reach with his lips. Jonathan was moaning and cursing under his breath and Evan pressed his free hand against the front of his pants, feeling himself achingly hard under the fabric of his clothes.

“Ev- Fuck! Evan, stop, stop!” Jonathan breathed. Evan pulled away, panting and looking up with flushed cheeks and glistening lips.

“What’s wrong?”

“If you keep that up I’ll never be able to last...” 

Jonathan breathed heavily, and Evan shivered.  
Jonathan started undressing him slowly, worshipping every single inch of Evan’s newly exposed skin with his lips. When his thighs hit the table that was in the room, 

Jonathan quickly pushed everything off it. He lifted Evan up and sat him there, stepping between his legs and holding his cheeks as he kissed him deep. Evan moaned into Jonathan’s mouth, giddy on the feeling of being finally naked against Jonathan’s body, bare and hot skin against bare and hot skin. He wrapped his legs around Jonathan’s waist and opened his mouth for him, letting their tongues slid against each other and their hands roam on each other’s bodies.

Suddenly, Evan was being pushed back and his back hit the table. Jonathan grabbed Evan’s legs and pulled him towards the edge of the table and kneeling down, spreading Evan’s knees apart.

“What made you change your mind?” Jonathan’s warm breath was so close to Evan’s cock that he had to held onto the table’s sided to calm himself down.

“I didn’t change my mind. I’ve wanted you since I saw you for the first time.” He replied, arching his back when the flat of Jonathan’s tongue pressed against the sensitive skin of his balls. “Oh fuck!”

Jonathan chuckled, huskily, looking up at him.  
Before Evan could process everything that was going on, he felt a slick finger slowly pushing at his entrance.

“Jon-“

“Relax, baby.”

A finger soon became two, and two fingers had Evan squirming and moaning and thrust his hips back, because Jonathan was touching him in all the right spots, making his legs quaking and his arms slump against the table, wrists hanging from the edge.

“Jon- Jonathan!” Evan whined, arching his back again and reaching with his hand to grab a fistful of Jonathan’s hair.

Seeing Jonathan’s head between his legs was probably the most erotic sight he had ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched with dark eyes as Jonathan thrust his hand forward, leaving Evan gasping for hair.

Jonathan’s lips and tongue were ghosting over Evan’s erection and he was positive he was about to go insane.

“Fuck me.” He managed to say between gasps, running the hand that was holding Jonathan’s hair between his own, moving the strands that were sticking to his sweaty forehead back.

Jonathan’s wicked grin had him shivering. Evan watched as he stood up, slowly, running his warm and lube-slicked hand up Evan’s thigh.

He walked to his wardrobe and grabbed a condom from a box, returning to Evan and holding it up between two fingers. “Safety first.”

Evan rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips. “Are you going to give me the ‘sit back, relax and enjoy your flight’ speech as well?” He huffed playfully, then gasped when Jonathan grabbed his thighs and yanking him back towards him.

“Just shut the fuck up.” Jonathan chuckled, squeezing Evan’s thighs and then rolling the condom on himself.

Evan rested his hands against Jonathan’s chest, brushing their lips together. Jonathan hummed and smiled running his long fingers through Evan’s messy hair, laying him back on the bed. The head of Jonathan’s cock rubbed between Evan’s ass, making Evan whimper and hold his breath.

He sunk into Evan slowly, inch by inch, making the shorter man’s mouth fall open and his eyes roll in the back of his head.

He felt full. He felt like he was being torn apart and he loved it. The pain was good, the stretch was good, the burn was good and Jonathan was long and he was making Evan feel.

When Jonathan bottomed out he held still, hands firmly curved around Evan’s hips and heavy puffs of breath leaving his lungs. Evan opened his eyes and looked up at him in awe, watching as a droplet of sweat rolled down Jonathan’s neck to the glitter still sticking to his chest reflecting the light.

Evan had never been a religious man, but he could have sworn that he had never felt so close to heaven before.

When Jonathan pulled back and thrust back in, slowly, Evan cried out, bending his knees and steadying his feet on the edge of the table. Jonathan was careful and gentle at first, letting Evan get used to the feeling and trying not to hurt him too much, but soon they were both gasping for air, chasing their pleasure and Jonathan was pounding him hard and fast.

Evan was seeing stars, and they looked just like Jonathan’s crystal blue eyes.

“Ev- Evan!” Jonathan moaned, biting his lower lip and thrusting forward once again. “Oh shit, you are so fucking tight.”

Evan sat up. He kept his back bent backwards just at the right angle and wrapped his arms around Jonathan to steady himself as he spread his legs wider. 

“You feel so good, oh my god.” He panted, grabbing a fistful of Jonathan’s hair on the back of his neck. “Oh, fuck, J-Jon!”

Jonathan leaned towards him and pressed their mouths together, kissing Evan just as desperately as Evan was feeling, holding him for dear life.

Evan felt loved.

Evan felt love. So much love. All the love in the world as Jonathan’s hips changed angle and touched something inside Evan that made him cry out in pleasure and wrap a hand around his painfully hard erection.

“Jonathan I-“

“I know, I know baby. Let go.”

Evan squeezed his eyes shut and kissed Jonathan again. And again.

He came with tears in his eyes, slumping back against the table and looking through his lashes at Jonathan, at the way his hips stuttered, his cheeks flushed, and his mouth fell open as he came.

Jonathan was beautiful, and Evan’s heart had never felt bigger and warmer.

—  
   
Evan Fong was gay.

Evan Fong was gay and life had never been so beautiful.

It didn’t stop with their encounter in Jonathan’s changing room. That was only the beginning. Each and every excuse was good for Evan to leave the house and run to Jonathan’s flat. Their dance classes, instead of being an hour long, suddenly extended to two hours because “Evan needed much more practice”. When they weren’t together, they were texting. When they weren’t texting, they were together.

Evan had a constant smile on his lips. Even Sydney noticed that. She was convinced that Evan’s happiness depended on their wedding, but little did she know Evan’s life had been completely turned upside down.

He had lost count of how many times they had fucked, and Evan loved it. He adored how hungry they always were for each other, how he couldn’t keep their hands for themselves when they were together.

Evan was falling in love.

“Faster, Jon, oh fuck!” Evan moaned, digging his fingers on the sheets and arching his back. He was on his hands and knees, facing the mirror in Jonathan’s bedroom and staring at the insanely hot sight of Jon fucking him from behind.

Jonathan was kneeling behind him, thrusting at a brutal pace, holding his hips so hard he was probably leaving bruises. Evan looked at himself, at his flushed cheeks, him sweaty forehead, his messy  hair and the red, swollen lips.

It was like watching a porn video with himself starring in it.

Jonathan slammed against his prostate and Evan cried out in pleasure. “Oh yes, right there fuck Jon, don’t stop!” He saw Jonathan staring at him in the mirror, eyes dark and lips parted. Evan wanted to kiss him senseless.  
He could feel each inch of Jonthan’s length inside him and he felt so full, so complete that he wanted to cry.

Jonathan’s hips started to stutter and his thrusts became erratic. Evan knew he was close, he could see the pleasure written all over Jonathan’s face. Evan could feel his own climax brewing in his gut as he reached down between his legs and gripped his neglected cock, stroking himself fast and moaning high and desperate.

“Look at me, Evan, look at me!” Evan looked up at Jonathan’s reflection, breathing heavily and groaning at the sight of Jonathan’’s usually crystal, but now dark eyes. “Come for me, babe.” Jonathan egged him, hitting Evan’s prostate with every single well aimed thrust.  
Evan came with Jonathan’s name on his lips, spilling on the sheets and feeling his knees going weak and jelly-like. Jonathan followed him less than a minute later, burying himself deep inside Evan and keeping still for a couple of seconds as he finished.

“Fuck…” He breathed. His grip on Evan’s hips became more gentle and he slowly pulled out, rolled the condom off of himself and threw it in the general direction of the trash can.  
Evan slumped down on the mattress, breathing fast and ignoring the sticky sensation between the sheets and his stomach. He smiled when Jonathan bent down and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades, then sighed when Jonathan laid down next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“You good?” He asked, brushing his lips over Evan’s nose.

“More than good.” The lazy smile on Evan’s lips matched Jonathan’s. He reached up and stroked Evan’s cheekbone with his thumb, softly and gently. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“We could.” Jonathan took Evan’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

Evan sighed and closed his eyes, pressing closer against Jonathan’s side. “It’s not that easy, Jon, you know that.” He said, running his fingers through his lover’s curls. Jonathan looked like something in between hurt and disappointed.

“I have to go to work.” He said, after a few moments of silence. He stood up and Evan watched as he picked his underwear up from the ground and put it back on.

“Jon…” Evan sat up, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I get it, Evan.” Jonathan said simply. He slid into a pair of jeans.

Evan knew what Jonathan wanted. He wanted the same thing. He just wasn’t sure they could have it. It hurt, thinking about it, that everything could have ended and that the rest of his life was going to be spent by someone else’s side, but Evan wasn’t naïve enough to dream that he could have had his happy ending.

“No, Jon, you don’t get it.” He put his briefs back on and stood up, following Jonathan in the living room of his small, messy flat. “I don’t have a choice.”

Jonathan snorted and shook his head without looking at him. “You do, Evan. You always have a choice.”

Evan wrapped his arms around Jonathan’s waist from behind, pressing a kiss on his back and then resting his cheek there. “You have to give me some time, Jon. This is all new for me.”

“I’m giving you time. I’m not asking you anything.” Jonathan replied, quietly. He relaxed between Evan’s arms and sighed. “It’s your life. Do what you want with it.”

Evan closed his eyes and kissed Jonathan’s back again, holding him tight before he let go. “I will figure this out. I promise.”

Jonathan turned and looked at him. He looked sad, and Evan hated it. “I have to go now.”

Evan’s stomach clenched. Among all things, he had never thought about jealousy. Not until he had met Jonathan. The fact that part of Jonathan’s work was grinding against other men, let them touch him, let them hold him and maybe even fuck  was a hard pill to swallow. Especially when he knew he didn’t have a say in the matter.

“Okay. Fine.”

“Don’t be like that.” Jonathan sighed, picking up a shirt from the backrest of a chair. “It’s just a job.”

“Yeah? Except that I don’t fuck other people when I go to work.” The words spilled out of Evan’s mouth and he instantly regretted every single one of them. He had basically just called Jonathan a prostitute and the look of hurt on his face was enough to make him want to slap himself. “I didn’t-“

“Close the door behind you when you leave.” Jonathan said, turning his back and taking the keys and the wallet from the table.

“Jon, wait, please, I didn’t mean-“ He tried to follow him, to explain, but the door slammed shut in a fraction of second and he was alone. “Fuck…” He took his face between his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

He was being unfair, he knew that.  
But he didn’t know how to stop.

“How was your dinner meeting?” Sydney asked, climbing in bed. She had just showered, which meant she smelled like lavender and, if there was a smell Evan hated with all of his heart, it was lavender.

“It was fine.” Evan replied, lying down and turning his back to her.

“Good.” Sydney turned the light off. “Only three more weeks, baby. Can you believe it?” Evan’s stomach clenched and twisted. “Everyone is going to be there, I’m so excited, Ev.”

“Yeah, me too.” Evan deadpanned. He took his phone from the night stand and quickly typed a message.

11.40pm, To Jonathan: I’m sorry for what I said. I really am. I miss you. I can’t breathe when you’re not next to me.

“Who are you texting?” Sydney asked.

Evan turned his phone off and plugged the charger in. “The guys.”


	2. Chapter 2

He didn’t see Jonathan until three days later, during their dance practice.

They had been the longest three days of Evan’s life. Jonathan hadn’t answered to any of his texts and Evan couldn’t skip dinner with Sydney again to go to the strip club, otherwise she would have gotten suspicious. He wanted nothing more than just know that he was okay. 

That they were okay.  
Whatever they were.

“Oh my god, what happened to you?” Evan dropped the bag and ran to Jonathan, reaching up to touch his face, but Jonathan winced.

“It’s nothing, I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay, you’re bruised.” Evan felt panic spread in his chest. Jonathan’s cheekbone was a dark purple and there was a cut on his lower lip. “What happened?” He asked again, pleading Jonathan with his eyes.

“I refused to blow a client.” He said quietly, brushing his fingers over his own lip, grimacing at the shot of pain.

Evan felt his organs crumble inside of his body at the sight of the most important thing in his life hurt like that.

“Jon…”

“I’m not a prostitute, Evan.” Jonathan’s voice was cracking a little and his eyes were glassy. “I know you think that I am, but I’m not. I get to choose whether I want to sleep with someone or not.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry.” Evan cupped Jonathan’s cheeks, gently, and pressed a kiss to the sane corner of his mouth. “I’m sorry I was an idiot. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say any of that.”

Jonathan didn’t move for a while as tears spilled down his cheeks, then, slowly, he pulled Evan in for a hug.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Evan assured him, soothing his back and tilting his head up to kiss his jaw. “Have you told anyone about this?”

“My boss caught him while he was beating me. He threatened him of calling the police, made him pay and then banned him from the club.” Jonathan explained, shrugging.

“That motherfucker needs to rot in hell.” Evan hissed. “Look at you…” His eyes starting to fill with tears. He cupped Jonathan’s cheeks and made sure he wasn’t hurting him as he pressed light kisses all over his face.

“I’m fine. It’s not the first time this has happened, and besides it’s just a bruise.” Jonathan reassured him, but, for some reason, he didn’t feel reassured at all. 

The idea of seeing Jonathan like that again was unbearable. “Don’t worry about me.” Jonathan held the back of Evan’s neck and their noses bumped together, softly.

“I always worry about you.” Evan sighed, stroking Jonathan’s strong cheekbone.

He wanted to ask more. He wanted to ask him how he ended up working in a place like that, how he could have agreed to all of that, but he didn’t want to step on any of Jonathan’s boundaries, especially while he was hurt. Instead, he walked to the shelf with the first aid kit on top of it and started disinfecting the bruise and the cut on his lip, using gentle touches and brushes of his fingers against Jonathan’s skin.

He was straddling Jonathan’s lap, focusing on his bruises and well aware that’s eyes were fixed on him.

“No one has ever taken care of me like this, you know?” Jonathan spoke quietly and Evan’s heart clenched in his chest.

“What about your parents?” Evan asked carefully, brushing the cotton on Jonathan’s cheekbone.

“My mom died when I was very little, I don’t remember her that much. I’ve been told that she was a great woman, though. My dad couldn’t take care of me because he worked a lot, so I grew up with my aunt and uncle.They were drug addicts, so I kinda just raised myself.” Jonathan explained. “So I moved out when I was 18.”

Evan’s heart was sinking in his chest at the thought of a younger Jonathan, desperate for some kind of attention. “I bet we would have been great friends as kids.” He said, smiling at him and setting his hands on Jonathan’s shoulders.

“Yeah?”Jonathan smiled,  holding Evan’s hips in his hands.

Evan blushed and chuckled. “Yeah.”  
   
 —

“This is such a bad idea.” Evan opened the door and let Jonathan inside. Sydney was out for the night, having dinner with the girls.  
He didn’t even know how it crossed his mind to take Jonathan back to his apartment, and yet there they were, walking inside and feeling like burglars. Evan honestly hoped with every single fiber of his being that Sydney wasn’t going to be back before she said she was going to be, otherwise things were going to be  a lot less pretty than they currently were.

“You have a nice place.” Jonathan said, taking his jacket off and taking a look around the living room. “It’s really clean.”

“Yeah. Sundry likes cleaning. We’re a match made in heaven.” He deadpanned.  
Jonathan snorted and Evan smiled, turning to look at him.

“If she comes back and finds you here-“

“We’re just going to tell her that we came because the studio was booked. Easy peasy lemon squeazy.” Jonathan caught Evan’s chin between his fingers and pecked his lips. “And I still think we should talk.”

“About?”

Jonathan gave him a knowing look, raising his eyebrows, and Evan sighed, shrugging his jacket off of his shoulders. 

“I don’t want to talk, okay? Not right now.  Not about that.”

“That’s what you always say, but the wedding’s in nine days and-“

Evan grabbed Jonathan’s face between his hands and kissed him square on the mouth, cutting off whatever Jonathan was going to say next. Jonathan hummed in the kiss, giving in completely and wrapping his long arms around Evan’s waist. They stumbled back towards the couch and fell on top of it. Jonathan was sitting on it and Evan was straddling his lover’s hips, fingers buried in his wild and soft hair.

“Do you ever brush it?” Evan asked against his lips when his fingers got tangled in a knot.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Jonathan quickly replied, kissing down his neck.

Evan tilted his head back and gave Jonathan’s lips more room, gasping when his teeth gazed on his skin.

He didn’t want to think about the future. He didn’t want to come to the realization that, in less than two weeks, he was going to be married. To a woman. A woman that was basically the younger version of his overbearing mother. 

He just wanted to close his eyes and let the moment swallow him. He wanted to pretend that he could have lived a happy life with Jonathan, being between his arms. He wanted to be in the position to ask Jonathan to stop working at the club, telling him that he could have done so much more with his life, with his talent. He wanted to believe that in another time, another place, and maybe another world, they could have been together.  
But the truth was that he had proposed, Sydney had said yes, and they were going to be married in nine days, six hours, fourteen minutes and twenty three seconds. Twenty two. Twenty one.

“Evan, we need to talk, for real this time.” Jonathan said, pulling away from his lips.

“Can you just- Please? Just let me have this moment. I need this. I need you.”

“And what happens when the moment ends?” Jonathan looked up at him and Evan’s stomach twisted.

“We can figure it out together.” Evan pressed their mouths together and started unbuttoning Jonathan’s shirt as fast as he could, roaming his hands all over his chest and abdomen, kissing down his jaw. “I want to ride you.” He whispered in his ear, making Jonathan shiver.

“We could be together....” Jonathan breathed in his ear, pulling Evan’s shirt up and off. He kissed his neck and Evan closed his eyes, burying his finger between Jonathan’s hair.

No, we couldn’t.

He stood up and grabbed the lube from his underwear drawer, where he was hiding it. He walked back into the living room and stripped in front of Jonathan, watching as he palmed himself through his jeans while looking at Evan.

“Take them off.” Evan told him and Jonathan quickly complied, tugging his jeans and underwear down in one go.

Evan, by that point, had should have got used to the way his mouth always watered at the sight of Jonathan’s cock, and yet, each time he laid his eyes on it, all he wanted to do was to get his mouth on it and suck until it’s head hit the back of his throat.

“I want you so much, Jonathan.” He breathed. He climbed back on Jonathan’s lap, wrapping himself around him and kissing him, filthy and deep.

He heard the lube’s cap being popped open, and nothing else until he felt Jonathan’s slick fingers on his hole, sliding in and stretching him open. Evan didn’t need much preparation, though. They had been fucking at least five times a week for the past five weeks, so Jonathan was soon pulling his fingers out, and looking up at Evan with dark, lust filled eyes.

“Condom?”

Evan shook his head, sliding his tongue over Jonathan’s bottom lip. “Fuck me raw.” 

Jonathan groaned at Evan’s mere words, gripping tight onto his hips. “Please, baby, I want to feel you. All of you.”

Jonathan nodded and slicked himself up with more lube. Evan slowly sunk down on Jonathan’s cock, feeling every single inch of it sliding inside of him and rolling his eyes in the back of his head when he finally bottomed out, feeling so incredibly full and satisfied.

“Of fuck.” Jonathan moaned, slumping back against the backrest of the couch. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

Evan rocked his hips, getting quickly used to that beautiful stretch, and started bouncing on Jonathan’s cock, gripping onto his shoulders and riding him like his life depended on it. 

Jonathan was looking at him with wide eyes, sliding his hands from his hips to his ass and spreading his cheeks apart, squeezing the tender flesh and making Evan moan high and desperate.

“Right there baby, don’t fucking stop, don’t stop, oh my fucking god.” Jonathan’s voice was breathy and husky, his eyes dark and his cheeks flushed.

“Jon, oh- fuck! You’re cock is so huge, fill me up so good.” Evan crashed their lips together and they moaned into each other’s mouths.

Evan felt high on adrenaline. It wasn’t just pleasure, it was also the idea that Sydney could have been back in any minute and found them like that: naked on the living room’s couch, fucking like animals. Evan was bouncing on Jonathan’s cock almost as if his life depended on it, moaning loud and gripping onto his shoulders.

“If you keep going like this I won’t last long.” Jonathan warned him, but Evan didn’t care. He wanted everything, he wanted all of it.

“Come inside me, Jon, please. I want to fucking feel you.” Evan pleaded, moving even faster and causing Jonathan to throw his head back and moan just as loudly as Evan was doing.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come baby. You- oh god, I’m fucking coming!” Evan sunk down on him and felt Jonathan’s dick throb inside him. 

Jonathan grabbed Evan’s achingly hard erection and gave it a few messy, quick strokes and soon Evan was coming as well all over Jonathan’s chest, causing the man to moan and slump back against the couch.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” Jonathan breathed, sweaty and sticky.

Evan loved him so much.

He felt Jonathan’s cock softening inside him. The sensation was funny, but not unpleasant. He felt safe, complete. Jonathan’s.

“We better clean up.” He laughed quietly against Jonathan’s neck. He sat up and Jonathan’s cock slid out of him, making him whimper at the loss. They both took a quick shower together, holding each other and giggling against each other’s lips like teenagers.

It felt good.

“Can you pass me my jeans?” Jonathan asked with a smirk on his lips.

They were back in the living room, putting their clothes back on, when the front door suddenly opened and everything in the room froze. Jonathan was buttoning his pants, Evan was buttoning his shirt and Sydney was staring at them with wide eyes.

Evan’s heart started pumping his way out of his chest and he thought he was just  a breath away from passing out.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sydney asked, looking shocked and beyond confused.

Evan couldn’t even formulate an answer. His brain was probably melted and leaking out of his ears like a popsicle.

“Oh my goodness, Sydney, did you get your nails done? They look great.” Jonathan grinned. “I was just about to leave, actually. The studio was booked for today, so we decided to move our practice here.” Jonathan smiled warmly and Evan wondered if he had ever taken acting. If not, he really should have had.

“Why are you half naked?” She asked, still suspicious.

“You won’t let me turn the heat down. Have you any idea of how hot it gets in here? Especially if you’re doing a physical activity?” Evan provided, buttoning the rest of his shirt up and then moving closer to Sydney, kissing her lips. “How did your dinner go?”

She eyed him for a moment, then she shrugged. “Fine.  We need to discuss a few more things before the big day.” She looked at Jonathan. “In private.”

Jonathan nodded and grabbed his shirt, putting it on and walking to the door. “I’ll see you on Tuesday, Evan.”

“Actually,” Sydney said, looking at Jonathan with a vaguely disgusted look on her face. “Evan is done with the dance lessons. I’m sure he’s learned enough by this point.”

Jonathan blinked and looked at Evan, then nodded. “Okay, sure. Well,” He opened the door and Evan’s heart ached. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you. I’m sure you’ll have such a great time at your wedding.”

Evan wanted to throw up.

“I’m sure we will.” Sydney deadpanned, with a fake smile on her lips.

Jonathan nodded his head and closed the door behind his back without looking at Evan again.

Evan swallowed and looked at Sydney, who was looking back at him with a blank expression on her face. “Whatever the fuck is going on, it’s going to stop right fucking now.” 

Evan’s blood froze in his veins. Sydney had never cursed before, nor looked so positively angry.

Evan was about to throw up.

“Am I made myself clear enough, Evan?”

He nodded his head fast, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Good.” She gritted out, giving Evan a disgusted look before she walked to the kitchen.  
   
—

Evan didn’t like that look on Jonathan’s face.  
Evan loved seeing Jonathan smile, laugh and smirk.

He didn’t like seeing him hurt, especially when he was the reason why he was looking like that.

Jonathan had eyeliner on his crystal eyes, glitter on his cheekbones and mascara on his lashes and he was beautiful.  

He was wearing tight, black pants and a silk vest hanging open on his chest. He was just about to go on stage and Evan felt guilty for that, because he was probably going to ruin his entire night.

“What do you mean?” He asked, looking like he had just been slapped right in the face.

“It’s over, Jonathan. Whatever this was- I can’t do this anymore. I’m getting married.” Evan explained, shaking his head.

“You didn’t look like you cared when you decided to cheat on her to be with me!” He protested, running a nervous hand through his hair.

“I did a mistake, okay?” Evan sighed, rubbing his face. “Look, I’m not saying that I don’t care about you, because I do. It’s just… This is wrong, Jonathan. I can’t be with you. I’m going to get married like I had planned.” He said, looking up at Jonathan and trying to hold his tears back.

“But you don’t love her. You don’t even like women!”

“I’ve never slept with one! Maybe I’ll like it, I don’t know! But this doesn’t change anything. I can’t see you anymore.”

Jonathan looked so lost and hopeless that Evan wanted nothing more than to reach out for him and hold him.

“So what was I? Your hobby? You used me until it was worth it and then that’s it?” Jonathan’s voice was cracking.

Evan’s heart was breaking.

“Jon-“

“You can’t fucking do that, Evan. That’s not fair. You can’t use people and then throw them away just like that. You said you liked me.” With the tone of voice Jonathan was using, Evan wondered if anyone had ever told Jonathan how important and beautiful he was.

“I can’t be with you, Jonathan.” Evan looked down at his feet, chewing on his lower lip. He was hating every single second. He just wanted to hide in the comfort of Jonathan’s arms and stay there forever.

But that wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

“I can’t call off the wedding for-“ He cut himself off, and that was it.

Jonathan’s shoulders dropped and his face was painted with sadness. “Me?” He murmured. “You can’t call off the wedding for me? Why? Because I am a man? Because I am a stripper? Because I’m not worth of you?”

I love you so much, Jonathan, so so much.

“I just can’t.” Evan whispered, avoiding Jonathan’s gaze. “I made a mistake.”

“You made me feel like I was worth something, and then you- you reminded me that I’m nothing.” Evan shook his head. 

Evan refused to look up at him, because he didn’t want Jonathan to see him with tears in his eyes.

Jonathan brushed past him and left his changing room, leaving Evan there, alone. He took his face between his hands and wiped his tears away, sniffling and feeling like a stupid idiot. A lovesick, hopeless stupid idiot.

If Evan was braver, he would have followed Jonathan . He would have told him that he loved him, that he wanted to be with him and that, if it had depended on him, he would have never proposed to Sydney in the first place.

But that would have been a lie.

It had been Evan’s choice to listen to his mother. It had been his choice to buy the ring. It had been his choice to choose Sydney and his craziness over the love of his life, and he needed to take responsibilities for his actions.

So maybe that was what he deserved:  a long, unhappy life spent with a wife by his side, spending the rest of his days thinking about what it could have been if he had been brave enough to listen to his heart instead to the scary voice in his brain.

If Evan couldn’t have Jonathan, he wasn’t going to have anything at all.  
   
—  
   
“Evan?” Luke knocked on the door and walked in the hotel room holding two glasses of champagne up. “Here, drink this.” He said with a smile.

Evan had been struggling with his tie for the past hour, actually considering hanging himself with it a couple of times,  and eventually giving in. His hands were shaking, he had forgot how to knot a tie properly and the only thing he managed to do that morning had been crying in the shower like the main character of a bad B Movie.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the glass from Luke’s hands and downed the champagne in one go, chugging it like he had never been able to chug anything during the (very few amount of) parties he had been invited to back in college.

“Easy, tiger. Are you trying to get drunk?”

Yes.

Craig, Marcel, Brock, and Brian walked in the room after a couple of minutes. Brock was fixing the collar of his shirt, Brian had brought more champagne and Craig was checking his watch.

“You know you’re still in time to call everything off, you know?” Brock helped Evan with the tie, knotting it for him and earning a grateful look from Evan.

“Why would he want to call off the wedding? He’s about to marry the woman of his dreams.” Tyler teased with a sarcastic smile, and Craig slapped his shoulder.

“Is Jonathan going to come?” Brock asked carefully, drinking a sip of champagne.

“Why would he come? He probably hates me now. And he has all the rights to.” Evan sighed, shaking his head. “I’ve been such an asshole to him, guys.”

“It’s not your fault, Evan.” Brian said, squeezing his shoulder.

Yes it is.

“Gentlemen?” One of the planners Sydney had hired was standing in the doorway with a notebook in his hands. They all turned their heads and looked at him. Evan felt like he was about to throw his beating heart up. Alongside with the apple he had had for breakfast. “We’re ready.”

Sydney was wearing a white dress, big and full of pearls. She looked a bit like a meringue. A very satisfied meringue.

The church was full of people taking pictures at the bride. Evan’s mother was sitting in the front row, looking so pleased with herself that Evan feared she might have started to clap in any moment. The huge amount of flowers was making his nose feel itchy and his shoes were uncomfortably tight.

That, or he just really wanted to run away.  
Brock was by his side, while Tyler, Marcel, Ryan, Craig, Scotty, Brian, Luke, Anthony, Lui, and David sat in front of him.

Who the hell were all the other people in the church? He didn’t recall having so many friends and relatives. He didn’t recall Sydney having any friends apart from those girls from her yoga class that were whispering as she walked by. Sydney had never liked them.

Sydney stopped her walk through the aisle and the wedding march stopped as well. Sydney was grinning, and Evan saw that a bit of lipstick had smeared on her front teeth.

He didn’t bother to point it out.

The church fell silent and Evan cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and bracing himself for whatever was about to come. His suit felt uncomfortably tight, his tie felt uncomfortably tight. He suddenly wished he still carried around his old inhaler, the one he used as a kid.

“We gather here to unite these two people in marriage. Their decision to marry has not been entered into lightly and today they publicly declare their private devotion to each other.” As the priest started to speak, he could hear his friends whisper. He turned his head just slightly, glaring at a very amused Tyler who had just snorted. “The essence of this commitment is the acceptance of each other in entirety, as lover, companion, and friend.”  
Evan wouldn’t have accepted Sydney as a roommate, let alone a lover, a companion or a friend.

The woman’s grasp on his hand was so tight and suffocating and possessive that Evan felt like a dog at the leash.

“A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither person is overpowered nor absorbed by the other, one in which neither person is possessive of the other, one in which both give their love freely and without jealousy.” The priest said, and Evan felt his skin cover in shivers. He tried to take his hand away from Sydney’s grasp, but she only held it tighter.

Evan wondered if she was listening to that pretty, default speech at all.

“Marriage, ideally, is a sharing of responsibilities, hopes, and dreams. It takes a special effort to grow together, survive hard times, and be loving and unselfish.”

What did they even had in common? Evan couldn’t recall a single thing they liked. They didn’t like the same kind of movies, they didn’t like the same music.

“Do you pledge to share your love and the joys of your marriage with all those around you, so that they may learn from your love and be encouraged to grow in their own lives?” The priest asked, and Tyler snorted again. This time, it was the priest the one that glared.

“We do.” Sydney replied, smiling wide and fake.

“Evan?” The priest asked, looking at him with a blank expression, almost as he had been in the same situation a hundredth times before.

“Yeah, yes.” Evan said, nodding his head.

Sydney gave his hand a squeeze and Evan actually considered the idea of chopping it off, just to get rid of that death grasp.

“Sydney, do you take Evan Fong for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you apart?”

The fact that Death was on Evan’s side in this scenario, was oddly comforting.

“I do.” Sydney immediately said, taking one of the rings and slipping it onto Evan’s finger.  
It felt like being handcuffed.

“Evan Fong, do you take Sydney for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you apart?”

Evan swallowed hard and looked at their joined hands, at the ring on his finger, at the look on Sydney’s face. His heart was beating so hard it was starting to hurt.

He turned his head and looked at his family, locking eyes with his father, so full of expectations and judging looks . He looked at the people sitting there, at the weird faces everyone was making and then at his friends, that were just sitting there, waiting for him to do what they thought he was about to do.

Evan could almost see the look of excitement on Tyler’s face.

“Young man?” The priest prompted him.  
Evan was done having people prompting and egging him to do what they  wanted him to do.

“No.” He eventually breathed out, without believing that he had just actually done it.

“You have to say ‘I do’.” The priest clarified, but Evan finally tore his hands away from Myra’s grasp and took  a step back.

“And yet I’ve said no!” Evan said, ignoring the voice filling up the church.

“Yes!” Tyler clapped his hands together, grinning. “You owe me twenty bucks!” He held his hand out and Marcel cursed under his breath, putting a twenty dollars bill in Tyler’s hand.

“Did you guys seriously bet on my wedding!?” Evan asked, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. He knew his friends all too well.

“What is going on!?” Sydney screeched, hitting Evan’s shoulder with her bouquet. She was red in the face and her eyes were wide and panicked.

“I can’t marry you, Sydney.” Evan shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry!? You’re breaking up with me at the altar?! During our wedding?” Her voice had turned at least seven octaves up and it was echoing between the tall walls of the church.

It hurt Evan’s ears a little.

“It’s not like you didn’t see it coming!” Evan protested, and Sydney hit him again with the flowers.

“How was I supposed to know THAT’S what was going on? He’s a man Evan!” Sydney snapped. “Which means you’re-“

“A fagot?” Evan cut her off, almost laughing. He turned to face the crowd and opened his arms. “Yes! I am! I like men. Actually, I fucking love them. I love how they look, how they taste and how they feel when they fuck me from behind!”

The priest gasped and made the sign of the cross. Evan’s father stood up, eyes wide and furious. Sydney stared at him in shock.

“Those were a lot of unnecessary details, man.” Tyler deadpanned, putting his newly earned money in his wallet.

Evan was starting to feel light, so light that he could have barely felt the floor under his feet anymore. He didn’t care about what the people were thinking, he didn’t care about what his mother was going to say. He didn’t care what the whole world was going to say.

“I can’t live this lie anymore. I’m sorry. I’m not in love with you.” He looked at Sydney, but she genuinely looked more concerned about the flop of the wedding than the latest revelation. 

“I’m in love with someone else.”

“You little, filthy, useless mother-“ Sydney started, clenching her fists, almost as if she was ready to throw a punch.

“Watch your mouth, Sydney. You’re in a church.”

Evan’s heart swelled when he heard Jonathan’s voice. He looked as he stood up, looking vaguely amused and definitely surprised.

Evan looked at him with wide eyes, without quite believing that Jonathan was actually there. At his wedding. 

After everything he had done, Jonathan was still there.

“Jonathan…” Evan breathed, and a smiled tugged at the corners of his lips. “What are you doing here?”

Jonathan shrugged and buried his hands in his pockets, smiling back at him. “You know how it feels when you’re sad and instead of trying to feel better you just listen to sad music in order to get more sad? Well, I guess I needed to see you getting married to give up on the hopes to be with you.” He walked past the people sitting on his row and made his way towards him.

Evan was definitely smiling. He let a shaky breath out and looked at him with so much love he could hear his own heart beating.

“Isn’t it romantic? The stripper has feelings.” Tyler teased, and Sydney’s bouquet dropped from her hands.

“Stripper!? I thought you were a dancer!” She looked between Evan and Jonathan.

“It’s basically the same thing.” Jonathan explained, gesturing with his hands. “Except from the amount of clothes involved.”

“You are disgusting.” Evan’s father gritted out, looking at Jonathan with an expression of utter and pure disgust on his face.

“I’ve been called worse.” Jonathan dismissed him, smiling in a very sardonic kind of way.

“I’m sorry, Jonathan, I shouldn’t have-“ Jonathan shushed Evan and winked at him, holding his hand out for him.

Evan looked down at it, and then at his own. He took the wedding ring off and left it on the altar, under the shocked gaze of the priest. Sydney gasped, and so did every single person in the church. Not that Evan cared. Not anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” He simply said, glancing at Sydney before he took Jonathan’s hand and letting the taller man pull him between his arms.

“I should have brought popcorn.” Tyler said, shaking his head and sighing. “This is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.”  

“Evan standing up for himself and getting what he wanted?” Craig asked, empathically.

“What? No. This shit show. This is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.”  
Mike snorted and shook his head, while everyone else was still trying to keep up with what was going on. 

Evan looked at his father, who had never had such a disappointed look on his face, then up at Sydney.

“I’m doing a favor to the both of us.” He told her, making her scoff and shake her head.

“You are the biggest disappointment of my entire life.” Evan’s father spat out, red in the face and with a strand of grey hair falling on his face. “I didn’t raise you to be a faggot! This prostitute has corrupted you!” He gestured in Jonathan’s direction.

“He is not a prostitute.” Evan immediately defended him.

“Really? Can I have my money back, then?” Tyler said, referring to the night of the bachelor party, and Craig glared at him.

“What!? What money?” Sydney asked, eyes even wider than before.  
   
—  
   
“I think every single one of my things is currently being destroyed.” Evan chuckled, ghosting his fingers over the bare skin of Jonathan’s chest. “God, I’ll have to find a new flat.”

Jonathan kissed his temple and brushed Evan’s messy hair away from his forehead. 

They were lying in Jonathan’s bed, legs tangled together and sheet tossed around their sweaty and sticky bodies. Evan was still trying to catch his breath after his mind-blowing orgasm, feeling sated and weirdly careless for someone who had chickened out of a wedding less than four hours prior.

Evan laughed, shaking his head and leaning down to press a lingering and loving kiss to his lover’s lips.

His lover.

Jonathan was his lover.

Jonathan, dancer by day and stripper by night, was Evan Fong’s lover.

"Jon?" Evan ran his fingers over Jonathan’s sharp jaw, smiling at him. 

"Mh?" He hummed, looking up at him with soft, tired eyes. 

I love you so much. 

"Nothing. Let's go to sleep." Evan shook his head and kissed him again, then rested his head against his chest. 

He had all the time in the world. 

And maybe that was how things were supposed to be.


End file.
